If you can safely confront the person and feel comfortable doing so, these are some suggestions for how to deal with the situation (these suggestions are from A Guide to Responding to Microaggressions): 
  • Ask for more clarification: “Could you say more about what you mean by that?” or “How have you come to think that?” 
  • Separate intent from impact: “I know you didn’t realise this, but when you said/did that, it was hurtful/offensive. Instead you could use different language or behaviour.” 
  • Share your own process: “I noticed that you said/did something I used to do/say, but then I learned that it is harmful and I changed my language/actions.” 
  • When possible, give specific examples of the things they did or said, explain why they are harmful, and give specific suggestions of different language or behaviour they can use instead. 
 See other support options on the how to get support page

There are two ways you can tell us what happened